There Are No Words

By: Kathy Gardner I spot her at the grocery store Her son was killed in 9/11 She is tenderly picking out apples And I am scowling at green bananas I wonder if she has heard my news She answers me Simply by looking over her shoulder She must sense a familiar desperation She turns deliberately…

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The Art of Letting Go, Dear Tahlequah

By: Kathy Gardner it was 17 days and 1,000 miles of carrying love, of carrying her — days and miles that I and so many others have traveled, too. everyone else seems so relieved this heartbroken mother has finally let go, but we loss moms know it just looks like letting go. the journey of…

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We Are All Just Walking Each Other Home

By: Kathy Gardner the circle i find myself in now is small and narrow and sad i go round and round traveling with the other moms who have gouged their own eyes out, too the world has become too scary, too painful, too distorted to look at so we grab each others’ hands and lead…

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Flowers

By: Kathy Gardner Enough time has passed now and your flowers have become a source of discomfort for me. I take such care to pick them out to water them to trim their stems to arrange them to find the perfect ribbon and wrap them up And in those moments I am happy. bringing you…

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Killer White

By: Kathy Gardner When I think of you I think of color Perfect, tiny, pink colors. You were a perfect, tiny, pink baby whose weight I could barely feel on my chest– 2 lbs and 15 oz of hope, dashed away. I held you in my arms, stung by disbelief cradling the remnants of a…

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Why?

By: Kathy Gardner it is hard to answer grief. ‘how are you doing? can I bring you anything? are you hanging in there?” they seem like such gentle and hollow questions, when pitted against a mother’s horror– my daughter is less than a mile away but I will never smell her milky breath at 3…

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Goodnight Sweetheart, Goodnight

By: Kathy Gardner he’s breathing so softly so deeply so gently or is that me? the space between us has dissolved and i can’t tell if he’s taking my air or if i’m taking his we rest next to each other and sigh into the night, each comforting the other knowingly and unknowingly it is…

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