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Mother’s Day Grief: What Do I Do?

Mother’s Day is a difficult occasions for many grieving women. Whether you have suffered a pregnancy loss or the death of a ‘born’ child, the celebration may be more than you can bear. Here are a few ideas to honor your child and your motherhood on Mother’s Day.

Acknowledge the pain.

You loved deeply, you also grieve deeply.

Visit a place of memory.

If you plan to visit the cemetery, go early in the day, because you are normally more rested. If you have been holding onto your tears, a visit to the cemetery may let you release them.

Change your routine from years past.

If you’ve normally had a family dinner at home, have a picnic, or perhaps go to a movie, one that is “up,” or perhaps visit friends.

Do something with your hands.

Do some light yard work, plant flowers, water the lawn, make a craft or do another project.

Allow other children space to grieve.

If you have surviving children, allow them some time and space. They feel sadness for you, but they are also dealing with their own grief.

Write.

Write down the feelings associated with the special times.

Create a new ritual.

Use candles, balloons, stories, religious ceremonies and/or gifts for others to honor your child.

Donate in memory of your child.

Memorials, contributions, scholarships, donations, and/or flowers given in memory of your child are good ways to handle special days.

Plan some alone time.

Save some time alone to read, walk, listen to music, etc.

Reach out to other family members and friends.

Sharing these special and difficult days with those you love can ease the pain and isolation of your grief.

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Share memories.

Bring photos, scrapbooks and other mementos to share with family members.

Plan ahead.

Don’t let the day just happen. Be intentional.

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