Chasing Rainbows

By: Angie Wetherell

One cannot explain why life takes us on such challenging journeys. For my husband and I, we had 11 miscarriages over a 7 year span. It seemed as though a storm cloud hung over us endlessly.  We had always wanted children and struggled to understand why we kept having miscarriages.  As life would have it, in August of 2002,  I was pregnant for the 12th time, and there would be answers to our prayers, albeit, not the answers we expected.  We met with a genetic counselor, and after some testing, determined the source of our storms.  So in February 2003, light shone through and we had our first baby, Lillianna. She was born a two pound three ounce beautiful baby girl, and although she was only with us a short 5 and 1/2 hours, her birth changed our lives.   In those few hours, she gave us all any parent needs: to hold her in our arms and feel her heart beat against our own, she branded her footprints on our hearts forever.

Lillianna helped us be discovered by Share, and a group connected to Share, had made Lillianna blankets, bracelets, and clothes. This group of “angels” as we called them, gave us the information about Share.  At first we weren’t sure if we could open our hearts to others, and share our grief.  The “angels” would send us letters throughout the first year after Lillianna’s passing, and we would receive Share newsletters.   

We are not the people we were before Lilly; we are much stronger because of her, Share and our “angels.”   It took my husband and I a year before we attended our first Share walk.  The moment we stood in the huge crowd of people, we were overwhelmed, and for the first time in our lives we knew we were not alone in our pain. There is help when you need it, so we kept going.  A few years after our first walk we got a memorial name brick at the Angel of Hope Memorial.  Lillianna and Share will be remembered always in our hearts.  The love from this beautiful organization fills the holes left by loss in our hearts.

Two years and two miscarriages after Lillianna was born, the storms had lifted, the sun shined and with it, a rainbow.  In 2005, Skylar was born, a healthy bouncing baby girl. So after a couple of years of enjoying parenthood I started to realize I was being selfish.  As an only child myself I had always wanted siblings.    

So my husband and I took a giant leap of faith and tried again. Two more miscarriages later we were done chasing rainbows; I was pregnant for the 18th and final time. For better or worse this was going to be our last pregnancy.  Our hearts could not endure the storms any longer.  Each new hope brought us up, but the losses brought us so far down.

As life would have it, this pregnancy would come with some surprising news we were not only going to give Skylar a little sister, we were also going to give her a little brother.  Yes, we were having twins.  In 2008, Gavin and Tavia were added to our happy home.

Our journey went through many storm clouds, with only a little sunshine and a few beautiful rainbows. We couldn’t feel more love in our hearts for all of our angel babies and our rainbows. We will forever have footprints on our hearts.

Mother Earth Pillows

A few years ago, I entered  Mother Earth Pillows shop, full of natural solutions to what ails you. Immediately impressed with this amazing aroma in the air, I had to inquire about their products. The assistant told me each pillow had a different herbal blend.  When I brought a heart pillow home, it occurred to me, if I had been given a pillow like this postpartum, it would have given me comfort in my darkest of times as something to hold and aromatherapy to lift my senses. Hopefully, Mother Earth Pillows products bring someone you love, comfort and relief.

About Mother Earth Designs

Mother Earth Designs, Inc was founded in 1995 in Arnold, MO by Karen Kowal, a Registered Nurse and Nationally Certified Massage Therapist.  Karen was actively involved for 30 years in the field of nursing, then became a Massage Therapist in 1994.  She had searched for natural products for her own use after dealing with personal chronic pain.  As her practice grew after 1994, she began creating and developing more product designs for her clients, family and friends.

Mother Earth Pillows have been used by bereaved families as natural comfort for emotional pain. Learn more about Mother Earth Pillows at www.motherearthpillows.com.