The Comfort Room - Share Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support

When you learn that your baby has died, the moments that follow can feel overwhelming and surreal. You may feel as though you are in a fog, and even the simplest decisions may seem impossible. In the midst of shock and deep grief, it can feel as though everything is out of your control. We want you to know that you still have choices.

When a baby dies, whether early in the pregnancy or later, you have the right to time and the making of memories with your baby. Your time together, however long or short, can be quiet, tender, and deeply meaningful for you and your family. There is no right or wrong way to say goodbye. These rights are not assumed to be correct for every family, and are meant to be suggestions of ways you can define the short time you have together. Some parents choose extended time with their baby, when they are able; others make different choices that feel right for their story. What matters most is that you are given clear information, the space to decide what feels right to you, and compassionate support along the way.

We understand that your love for your baby does not end. The moments you share with your baby, whatever they look like, are yours, and they can be an important part of your grieving and healing. At Share, we believe every family deserves to be informed of their options and supported with dignity, respect, and care as they create memories that may one day become a treasured part of their story.

Rights of Parents Whose Baby Dies Very Early in Pregnancy

To be with each other during any tests, procedures or hospitalization as much as possible.
To be cared for by an empathic staff who will respect their feelings, beliefs and individual requests.
To have information presented in terminology understandable to parents regarding their baby's status and or cause of death (if known), including pathology reports and medical records.
To be told all options and to be given the choice (when medically possible) on how to proceed when their baby has died, such as D&C, natural delivery or delivery induced by medications.
To be able to see and hold their baby and take photographs if possible.
To be given the option to name their baby if they choose to, whether or not the gender is known.
To observe cultural and religious practices the parents feel are appropriate to the situation.
To be informed of the grieving process and to be given referrals and resources that will help them through their grief.
To be offered as many mementos as possible, for example, ultrasound photos, memory box, certificate of life.
To be given information on the facility's disposition policy and offered choices whenever possible.
To be given options regarding farewell rituals such as a hospital memorial service or a private burial at home.
To receive follow-up appointments for medical tests and genetic counseling or to review lab test results.
These rights should be granted to parents no matter how early in the pregnancy their loss occurred.

Adapted by Share Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support from "Miscarriage Bereavement Protocols"

by Perry-Lynn Moffit, co-author of A Silent Sorrow. Endorsed by Share and perinatal loss support

groups and leaders nationally.

Rights of Parents When a Baby Dies

To be given the opportunity to see, hold, touch, and bathe their baby at any time before and/ or after death within reason.
To have photographs of their baby taken and made available to the parents or held in a secure place until the parents wish to see them.
To be given as many mementos as possible, e.g., crib card, baby beads, ultrasound and/or other photos, lock of hair, baby clothing and blankets, feet and hand prints and/or permanent molds and record of weight and length.
To name their child and bond with him or her.
To observe cultural and religious practices.
To be cared for by an empathetic staff who will respect their feelings, thoughts, beliefs and individual requests.
To be with each other throughout hospitalization as much as possible.
To be given time alone with their baby, allowing for individual needs.
To be informed of the grieving process.
To be given the option of donating their baby's cartilage, tissue and/or organs for transplant, their baby's body to science or breast milk to a milk bank.
To request an autopsy. In the case of miscarriage, to request to have or not have an autopsy or pathology exam as determined by applicable law.
To have information presented in terminology understandable to the parents regarding their baby's status and cause of death, including autopsy and pathology reports and medical records.
To plan a farewell ritual, burial or cremation in compliance with local and state regulations and according to their personal beliefs, religious or cultural tradition.
To be provided with information on support resources which assist in the healing process, e.g., local support groups, perinatal loss internet support, counseling, reading material and perinatal loss newsletters.

Rights of the Baby

To be recognized as a person who was born and died.
To be named.
To be seen, touched, and held by the family.
To have the end of life acknowledged.
To be put to rest with dignity.

Rights of Children When a Sibling Dies

To be acknowledged as individuals who have feelings that need to be expressed.
To be given the choice to see and hold our sibling before and after the death within reason.
To be considered in the choices parents are given, we may have opinions on such things as plans for a funeral, baby's name, etc.
To be informed about the feelings of grief in our terms, giving us the choice of a support group or counselor.
To be recognized by our society that we will always love and miss our sibling.

The Rights of Parents

Rights of Parents, Baby, and Siblings When a Baby Dies

Share Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support

Contact Us

The Rights of Parents﻿

Rights of Parents, Baby, and Siblings When a Baby Dies

The Rights of Parents