Sister Jane Marie Lamb, OSF

It is always a privilege to honor and remember the many precious babies who were real and who were loved. My
time of nearly 30 years journeying with bereaved parents has a been a gifted time for me in more ways than I could ever tell you. I treasure the memories of these precious babies and of their parents as I saw their courage and deep love for their child who had died. It was a privilege to share in the precious moments spent with these special babies. It was through the life and death of one precious little girl, Anna Marie, who was stillborn in the hospital where I had recently joined the staff as chaplain. This was in 1977 when the average caregiver, including myself, had no preparation to fall back on during the crisis precipitated by an infant's death. The parents were devastated when Anna Marie was stillborn. For the first three days, the father was alone, as the mother remained in a coma with complications and was hospitalized for a month.

Though I had been a Maternity nurse, I had no preparation to deal with grief, at least I didn't think I had any insights into their pain. Looking back, I realized that I had developed sensitivity to my mother's grief when my older sister died at age 18 - I was only 9 years old at the time. The parents taught me to listen with empathy, to respond to their needs and to be their advocate. They needed most an avenue to give them options and the opportunity to make their own decisions. My role became one of journeying with them, to comfort them and to listen. They became my first teachers.

Later when I moved to St. John's Hospital in Springfield, Illinois, through a series of circumstances in this large hospital, I found myself responding to other parents with a similar experience. From my beginnings with little Anne Marie, I have continued to journey with hundreds of families in the United States and other continents.

Every child's life is precious and who can be more precious to parents than their infant? The hopes and dreams for this child are filled with anticipation and joy. Suddenly, their dreams are shattered and the world around them shaken. The parents find it difficult as they try to make it alone. We as caregivers are privileged to journey with the families during this time of putting the pieces back together.