The Internal Battle of Parenting After Loss

By: Sabrina Ivy Parenting is hard. Parenting after loss takes it to a whole other level. From the moment we find out we are pregnant, we immediately begin to imagine our family with our new bundle of joy. Our sole purpose becomes ensuring we are doing everything we can to bring our babies into this…

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I’m Not The Mom I Dreamed I’d Be

By: Rachael Fast This topic seemed so easy to write about, however, as I sit to write, my mind goes blank. How do I write about something that is all I’ve ever known, as far as parenting goes? My first baby girl, Elaina Hope was stillborn at 40 weeks in March 2011. She was my…

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The Journey of Parenting After Loss

By: Jennifer Haake Parenting is tricky.  You question yourself and every single decision you make. You worry.  You worry about everything.  Are they happy?  Are they emotionally cared for? Am I giving them everything they need to become successful adults? The list is endless. As a bereaved parent with surviving children, the self-doubt and worry are exacerbated.…

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Grieving Honestly: Parenting After Loss

By: Brooke Taylor Duckworth A few weeks ago, I was ushering my daughter out of a crowded waiting room where she had been making small talk with an older woman. I overheard her talking about her little sister. As I opened the door and reached for her hand, she turned to the woman, who was…

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Flowers

By: Kathy Gardner Enough time has passed now and your flowers have become a source of discomfort for me. I take such care to pick them out to water them to trim their stems to arrange them to find the perfect ribbon and wrap them up And in those moments I am happy. bringing you…

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Killer White

By: Kathy Gardner When I think of you I think of color Perfect, tiny, pink colors. You were a perfect, tiny, pink baby whose weight I could barely feel on my chest– 2 lbs and 15 oz of hope, dashed away. I held you in my arms, stung by disbelief cradling the remnants of a…

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Why?

By: Kathy Gardner it is hard to answer grief. ‘how are you doing? can I bring you anything? are you hanging in there?” they seem like such gentle and hollow questions, when pitted against a mother’s horror– my daughter is less than a mile away but I will never smell her milky breath at 3…

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Letters to Heaven

By: Sabrina Ivy My Sweet Alivia Rose, You are the first thing I think of every morning when I wake. You are the last thing on my mind when I go to sleep. Countless times I think of you throughout the day. My heart longs for you. My arms ache for you. Despite all the…

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Letters to Hope

By: Robin Busekrus This Christmas, my mother-in-law gave me a journal.  On the front cover there is the word Hope.  My mother-in-law said, “I know how much you enjoy to write.  I thought you would like this for writing about Hope.”   At that moment, I did not know what I would write in the journal.…

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My Dearest Dolly

By: Heather West My dearest Dolly, How do I put into words the many ways you changed my life? There is so much I want to say to you, but I was not granted with the blessing of telling you in person. Instead I am forced to unwillingly put on layers upon layers, bundle up,…

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