Letters to Heaven
By: Sabrina Ivy
My Sweet Alivia Rose,
You are the first thing I think of every morning when I wake. You are the last thing on my mind when I go to sleep. Countless times I think of you throughout the day. My heart longs for you. My arms ache for you. Despite all the heartache and pain, I am so grateful God chose me to carry you all of your days. You are loved. Your absence has touched our hearts and forever changed our world. The day you died, a piece of me died with you.
There are countless things I never get to do with you and for you. I never get to rock you to sleep. I never get to soothe your cries. I never get to see your smile. And I never got to say goodbye. I never get to watch you grow. I never got to feed you. I never get to wipe your tears. And I never get to calm your fears. I never get to hear you call my name or hear you giggle and laugh and play. I’ll never get to teach you how to read and I’ll never get to see you succeed. I’ll never get to see you fall in love and marry the man of your dreams. There are so many things we are missing out on…we are missing out on you.
Despite all the things we will never get to experience with you and everything I am missing, I am forever grateful for the time I had with you. Only I felt you growing inside me. Only I felt your kicks. Only I felt your hiccups. Only I really knew you. For 36 beautiful weeks you were with me. You were whole. You were unique. You were perfect. You were really mine and I was really yours.
I’m thankful. I’m thankful for you and the lessons you have taught me through your short little life. I know that in Heaven there are no tears and there is no sadness. So, if you ever happen to get a glimpse of us down here, know that all these tears and heartaches you see are just a sign of my deep love for you. Your mommy’s love that will never cease. It will never falter. It will never end.
Love you forever,
Sabrina has been married to her wonderful husband, Chris, for 13 years. She is a mommy to four beautiful children; two that walk with them and two that live in Heaven. They are a homeschooling families and have found great comfort in being able to mourn and grieve in their own ways together. The Ivy’s daughter was stillborn at almost 37 weeks on March 22, 2014. This has been a journey of faith, grief and hope for their family.
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