Three Words

By: Brooke Taylor Duckworth When I was pregnant with my first daughter, I was determined to have a natural, unmedicated labor and delivery. You see, when I was pregnant with my first daughter, I thought such things were important. I assumed that getting to my third trimester meant that the baby would live and that…

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A History of Mother’s Day

By: Brooke Taylor Duckworth I found out I was pregnant with my first baby on Mother’s Day. We were in the middle of a home remodeling project and the house was a mess, but I remember showing those two pink lines to my husband and him sweeping me up in a big hug. It felt…

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The Life That Is Waiting For Us

By: Brooke Taylor Duckworth When I lost Eliza, I began reading blogs written by other bereaved parents and “baby loss mamas.” I gravitated toward those who were on a grief timeline similar to mine, who had experienced their loss around the same time I had. I also wanted to read some blogs written by women…

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I’m Not The Mom I Dreamed I’d Be

By: Rachael Fast This topic seemed so easy to write about, however, as I sit to write, my mind goes blank. How do I write about something that is all I’ve ever known, as far as parenting goes? My first baby girl, Elaina Hope was stillborn at 40 weeks in March 2011. She was my…

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The Journey of Parenting After Loss

By: Jennifer Haake Parenting is tricky.  You question yourself and every single decision you make. You worry.  You worry about everything.  Are they happy?  Are they emotionally cared for? Am I giving them everything they need to become successful adults? The list is endless. As a bereaved parent with surviving children, the self-doubt and worry are exacerbated.…

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Grieving Honestly: Parenting After Loss

By: Brooke Taylor Duckworth A few weeks ago, I was ushering my daughter out of a crowded waiting room where she had been making small talk with an older woman. I overheard her talking about her little sister. As I opened the door and reached for her hand, she turned to the woman, who was…

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Flowers

By: Kathy Gardner Enough time has passed now and your flowers have become a source of discomfort for me. I take such care to pick them out to water them to trim their stems to arrange them to find the perfect ribbon and wrap them up And in those moments I am happy. bringing you…

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Killer White

By: Kathy Gardner When I think of you I think of color Perfect, tiny, pink colors. You were a perfect, tiny, pink baby whose weight I could barely feel on my chest– 2 lbs and 15 oz of hope, dashed away. I held you in my arms, stung by disbelief cradling the remnants of a…

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Why?

By: Kathy Gardner it is hard to answer grief. ‘how are you doing? can I bring you anything? are you hanging in there?” they seem like such gentle and hollow questions, when pitted against a mother’s horror– my daughter is less than a mile away but I will never smell her milky breath at 3…

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Letters to Hope

By: Robin Busekrus This Christmas, my mother-in-law gave me a journal.  On the front cover there is the word Hope.  My mother-in-law said, “I know how much you enjoy to write.  I thought you would like this for writing about Hope.”   At that moment, I did not know what I would write in the journal.…

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