By: Tiffany Elder
We were sitting at the dinner table having a conversation we never thought we would have. We were two months removed from our miscarriage. The couple we met with had their miscarriage just weeks prior to our meeting. Someone paired us with this couple to offer support, but it felt as though we had nothing left to give emotionally.
We did a lot of talking. We shared stories, we shared frustrations, and we shared tears. It kept being said at dinner that we were in the same boat, but I knew that was not the truth.
This couple had lost their first baby. We had lost our second. They went home to comfort each other; we went home to comfort each other while snuggling with our precious three-year-old son.
We were not, and are not, in the same boat.
I am considered a mother by the world around me. They are considered newlyweds that have no children. That is a much different boat.
The heartbreak is very real for both of us, but when it came to offer them encouragement, one thing came to mind that I wanted her to walk away with more than anything else.
I looked her in the eyes from across the table, and I told her that she is, in fact, a mother. I told her that she has in fact experienced having the love of a mother for that little baby.
If she hadn’t, it wouldn’t have been near as painful.
As someone that has a child and has lost a baby in the first trimester, I want every woman who has yet to bring home a baby due to pregnancy loss to know that she still is a mother. She has experienced the love that a mother has, and that should be celebrated.
This Mother’s Day, take time to celebrate yourself. You have loved, you have cried, you have experienced motherhood. This Mother’s Day, you are worth celebrating. In your own way, of course.
Motherhood has a way of opening our eyes and hearts to emotions and feelings we never thought we could have experienced, and your journey is no different.
Celebrate your strength. Celebrate the ways your eyes and hearts have been opened, even though it is still painful. Celebrate that you are a mother.
Take yourself for a pedicure. Order flowers. Take care of yourself. Celebrate yourself.
The world may not realize what I do, and I am so sorry for that. It breaks my heart that the world around you may not view you as a mother. But, for what it’s worth, I believe in the deepest place of my heart that you are a mother worth celebrating this May.
Find what works for you, and have a fabulous Mother’s Day.
And because no one else may say this, I want to wish you a special and happy Mother’s Day.
About Tiffany Elder
Tiffany is a speaker and writer whose desire is to help women discover and fulfill who they were created to be. This passion flows from her and is evident on both the stage and the page. Tiffany is the wife of Joseph, who is one of their church’s Student Ministry Directors. They currently live in the Dallas, Texas area with their three-year-old son, Jackson.
Read more from Tiffany on Sharing Magazine or her blog, Digging Deep.