Awareness Helps Spread Love and Support
By: Marie Kriedman
October is a bustling time of year for our family. We juggle birthdays, anniversaries, swim lessons, fall sports, a new school routine, homework, pumpkin carving, Halloween fun, and so much more.
After I experienced a miscarriage in August 2020, I learned that October is also Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month. Every year I write a new article, hoping to reach other families who are in a similar situation. There are so many of us who understand baby loss. Unfortunately, 1 in 4 women will experience a miscarriage.
Genetic testing revealed that our daughter had a chromosome disorder (Trisomy 18), but my husband and I did not expect to lose our daughter early in the second trimester. In fact, an emergency ultrasound, just six days before we lost Olivia, revealed a perfect baby – with no physical markers of the disorder.
Trisomy 18 occurs as cells are dividing. It is not a genetic issue carried through the mother or father’s genes. In one way, that made it more difficult for us because there was no concrete place to direct our anger. In another way, it was easier because neither my husband nor I could blame ourselves for our daughter’s medical condition. Trisomy 18 is an anomaly and a cruel twist of fate that took away our much-wanted baby girl.
The emotional carnage of a miscarriage doesn’t just affect the parents. It touches the entire family.
Writing has been therapeutic for me. I’ve created books that can be used as a parenting tool to talk with children about miscarriages. I write articles to honor my daughter and share our family’s story. I write to ensure my daughter didn’t die in vain. I write to reach others, to help those who are grieving, and hope my words help other parents know they are not alone in their struggle.
Each October is a new wave of bittersweet emotions. Cool days of fall fun and busyness coupled with yearning and wondering how things would be different with one more child in the mix. My husband and I lean on each other, and we sadly have friends and acquaintances who understand our pain. My longing for Olivia will never stop, but the pain has lessened somewhat since we lost her. My wish today is for calm and peace, and a day that has smiles to help through the tears. I wish this for my family and for yours too.
About Marie Kriedman
Marie started her journalism career as a copy editor and paginator for a newspaper. She eventually left the newspaper business and has continued as a freelance writer for more than 20 years. She founded Write Away K and is the author of many children’s books. She published two books to honor her daughter, Saying Goodbye to Olivia and Olivia Had Trisomy 18. Marie and her husband are graciously permitted to live in a house with their cats. They are also parents to two children and one angel baby. Please visit BooksbyMarie.com to learn more.