When Healing Is A Journey Not A Destination

By: Robyn Busekrus

Throughout the time of our journey, I have heard the word healing.  At times, healing seems that you are better or whole again. I think of when you have a cut and it heals, you may have a scar.  You are not completely whole, as you have something to remind you of your cut. However, you are able to function again despite the reminder of your pain.

Healing to me is like many band-aids stuck to my heart.  There are the reminders of the physical pain, the grief aspect and “what would have been.”

As time progresses, those areas ease, but they never fully go away. I will always have scars that will be a part of me.

Lately, I have been walking in one of our community parks.  At one end of the walking path is our Angel of Hope monument. Eight months ago I couldn’t sit at the monument without breaking down.  Now, at the end of my walk I always take that portion of the path and sit on the bench.  At times, I pray.  At other times, I sit in the quiet, listen to the birds, and observe the peacefulness of the setting.  At other times, the tears come and I allow myself to feel the grief. Today after I finished up my walk, I saw a friend on the walking path.  We were able to talk for a few minutes. The encounter also served as a reminder that through this journey of healing, many friends and family have been a support on the path of healing.

I also look for ways to honor our son, Hope, in the healing process.  When I see something that reminds me of him I take a picture of it or at times purchase an item as a reminder.  This is a necklace I purchased with Hope’s name, a butterfly to symbolize infant loss and the number 19 to represent his birthday.

Being creative has been a part of healing as well.  I have enjoyed sewing, decorating, gardening, and writing as hobbies. Focusing on continuing to develop these skills has given focus, direction and a creative outlet.  

We all are different in our grieving and in our healing.  One of the quotes about healing I came across says:

“It’s important that we share our experiences with other people.  Your story will heal you and will heal somebody else. When you tell your story, you free yourself and give other people permission to acknowledge their own story.” Iyanla Vanzant.

To all who have experienced loss, wishing you the strength to continue the journey on the path of healing.

 

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