By Jodi Bauler
Reprinted from Sharing, Volume 14 Issue 5
Like so many others who seek the comfort and support of Share, I too, have a story of loss and devastation. A little over a year ago, my 38 1/2 week pregnancy ended with my 7lb, 5 ounce baby boy depending on ventilators and tubes for life. A cord accident deprived him of oxygen for too long, and left him in a vegetative state. After 2 1/2 days of numbness and disbelief, I found myself clinging to my baby, who we named Isaac Joseph, as he gently left this world.
Before Isaac, my life was near perfect. We had planned this pregnancy and everything was on schedule. Then, out of nowhere, my world stopped. As I buried my baby, all I could wonder was, “Why me? What did we do to deserve this?” I felt so overwhelmed and so alone. No one I knew had ever lost a baby before. Everyone else had perfect lives; lives that I was now jealous and bitter of. Then, I found Share. After 3 months of feeling so isolated, I discovered a world of help, comfort, and support, everything I had so desperately been searching for. Through the message boards, I became connected with other women whose worlds had also come to a screeching halt with the loss of their babies. I finally felt like others understood what I was feeling, as they were going through the same things themselves. Without Share’s continuous support and resources, I know I would not have come as far as I have in my journey of grief. I know whenever I feel weak, the wonderful women that gather on the Share boards will be my shoulders to cry on and my ever-listening ears. Whether it is 3 a.m. or 3 p.m., I have a place where I can turn. Now, as I am embarking on a new pregnancy, I am finding the encouragement and strength through them, that I can’t find in myself.
I would like to thank all of you who keep Share running each and every day. You have made such a difference in so many lives. I don’t know how I would make it from week to week without your continued support. Thank you so much!
Thank you for listening to my thoughts.