Posts Tagged ‘Amanda Crews’
Your Baby is So Much More than Gone
By: Amanda Crews After Carson died, my world turned to ruins. Everything we had planned for was gone. It didn’t matter that we installed the car seat a week prior or that his nursery was 100% ready. It didn’t matter that every piece of clothing was washed and ready to be worn. We wouldn’t wait…
Read MoreWalking in My Grief
By: Amanda Crews Child loss is something I had honestly never even thought about. Now, it’s all that I think about. We lost our first born at 37 weeks. On Thursday we heard his heartbeat, and on Friday, he was gone. How do you wrap your head around that? It’s nearly impossible. It took everything…
Read MoreYou are not Alone
By: Amanda Crews When I rolled into our family’s house on Christmas Eve, I was nervous but also happy to see everyone. It had been around 9-months since we had lost our sweet Carson, at 37 weeks, and we were just weeks out from losing our little girl at 10 weeks. The dinner was great,…
Read MoreBeing Part of the Club
By: Amanda Crews When I was in labor with our son, Carson, at 37 weeks, I had a dear friend visit me. She, too, had experienced the loss of a child. She stood alongside my bed, as my body prepared for a long labor, and she apologized. She said, “I am so sorry, Amanda. This…
Read MoreRemembering Carson
By: Amanda Crews In March of 2017, at 37 weeks pregnant, I heard the crushing words, “Amanda, I am so sorry, but there’s no heartbeat,” as I lay on an ultrasound table within my obstetrician’s office. Visions of changing diapers, sleepless nights, late night feeds, milestones, and the life we had planned came tumbling down.…
Read MoreA Walk With Grief
By: Amanda Crews Grief is catching. After five and a half years of showing up unexpectedly, it continues to do just that. I bent down to pick up the dirty laundry in the corner of our bathroom that somehow landed next to the hamper and not in it. With three children in our home, four…
Read MoreWoven Together by Dreams that Never Could Be
By: Amanda Crews I’ve mulled around a number of things that I could say or write to offer words of encouragement, and every time I thought I had something, it failed me. I had no words. There was a block. As I reflected in that space and tried to move the heavy load, it just…
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