Talking About Grief and Loss is Uncomfortable.

By: Robyn Busekrus

Sometimes friends and family don’t have the words to bring comfort.  When I think of grief, I think of sadness and pain. We all like to share the highlights in our lives.  Social media shows the highlight reel of our experiences. Those experiences are important to share. However, life isn’t sunshine and rainbows always.  There’s some rain, fog and stormy weather that is mixed in with the good parts in our lives.  

When we lost our son, I started to journal.  It was about three months after our loss that I started to put pen to paper.  At first, it was for myself to write about the heartache, pain, sadness, and anger to help with the emotional side of loss.  I started to ponder about writing a blog where it could help others on this journey of loss. The blog was to be a place where others could find encouragement and hope in the midst of grief. 

Writing has opened doors to use that pain for good and to show others that they are not alone. 

The blog has evolved over the past two years to also focus on the things in life that bring joy. I still focus on grief and loss at times, but I now incorporate the things I enjoy pursuing such as creating art. 

It is important for us to honor our grief, but also seek ways to find joy despite our loss.  

As I write, I try to be mindful of others.  Grief and loss are not topics most people want to read.  I also want to be respectful to family and friends that are expecting.  As my heartaches, I don’t want to take away from their joy. Family and friends shared in our joy when we were expecting.  I treasured the support throughout our joyful moment and the support when our heartache occurred.

When discussing grief and loss, may we understand that sometimes people do not know what to say. 

I have experienced wanting others to honor our loss and have had the expectation that others should know what to say and do. 

May we realize that we have a tribe who has been on this journey.  Our tribe is connected through our loss experiences. We may not know each other personally, but we think of those who have experienced loss and empathize deeply since we have experienced the grief and pain.

Think of the sunshine moments that bring joy.  Know that in the stormy and murky parts of our grief, there is a tribe who knows where you have been. 

May we be the sunshine to others in their joyful and sad moments. Sometimes there are no words to express, but we can always be a light no matter how dim or bright.

Robyn Busekrus

About Robyn Busekrus

Robyn Busekrus is a mom, wife, educator, and writer who makes her home in Washington, MO.  Losing her third son Hope in the second trimester of pregnancy, was an unexpected part of her life’s journey.
Robyn’s blog chronicles the journey of loss and hope.  Appreciating the little things in life, while holding onto faith each day is the message she wants to share with others.  Her interests include reading, home decorating, vintage markets, and community service.

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