This was originally published in the Share Magazine in the Jan/Feb 2008 edition.
By Krista McInerney
Mommy to Madison Elaine McInerney, Elliott, and Meah
When I lost my daughter in March of 2002, I had never watched anyone I know experience the loss of their baby, let alone known anyone who had ever lost a baby. Besides my grief and pain of actually losing my baby, I experienced an overwhelming feeling of being alone. I think we all do! In today’s world, babies don’t die . . .therefore, I must be the only one to have lost my baby. Right?
Regretfully, almost 2 months passed after my daughter’s death before I thought to go online and search for something, anything, anyone who could relate and offer me support. The very first search result I clicked on was Share!
What an empowering revelation . . . There are others out there who know! They know, Share welcomed me into it’s arms, took me by the hand and led me to other moms who understood what I was feeling. They understood because they were feeling it too. Strangers we were, but it felt as though we had been friends forever . . . our hearts know the same pain . . . our lives had been altered in the same way.
Share is always a place that we can share our deepest feelings. Some feelings we would never reveal to the “non-bereaved” for fear of being thought crazy or twisted. SHARE enables us to talk about our babies, which is something that doesn’t happen very often in the outside world. For me, I feel that I am so defined as a person by my daughter’s existence that to not have her here with me contradicts everything I have become. To talk about her brings her closer and to be able to do that with other who respect and honor her is truly a treasure.
Over the last 10 months, I have made some lifelong friends at Share. The death of my daughter has forever changed me and I feel so fortunate to have such wonderful friends to walk side by side with down this path. Our angels led us to each other . . . to help each other. When one is weak, the other is strong. When one is sad, the other is hopeful. When one is angry , the other is calm. The cycle is never ending.