A New Season: Honoring Your Baby

By: Robyn Busekrus

As the Fall season approaches, it is bittersweet.  Fall has been my favorite season, but this year it has a somber feeling.  This time last year, was such a time of joy as we were anticipating our son.  The cool weather, the breezes, pumpkins and leaves falling are some aspects of fall I love.  

Last summer, I recall the excitement of being mom.  Seeing our son on the ultrasound and growing each week was exciting. When October came, everything changed. The routine doctor appointment turned into a painful moment in time when the doctor said there was no heartbeat.  

The season that I always loved, now has sadness.

The past year, we have been trying to find ways to honor our son, Hope.  Some ways we have shown honor is by talking about him with our two sons and remembering the joy we had for a short time.  Helping others by serving has been one way I have tried to remember Hope. This week, a group that I follow on-line called Radiant Hope was asking individuals to volunteer to paint signs for patients who are ill. The signs are bright yellow and will say hope.

(Picture taken from https://www.facebook.com/hisradianthope/)

As I saw the link,  I knew it would be a way to help others and to honor Hope by bringing hope to others through a simple sign.  It doesn’t mean it is easy to serve or try to see the good. I have days where the grief is so overwhelming and the tears flow.  At times, I wonder, “How many more tears do I have?” Honoring is to show reverence and importance. Through serving and remembering, our family will continue to celebrate Hope and the joy he brought.


Our youngest son Luke, honors Hope when we are doing something as a family.  He will say, “We have to remember Hope.” At times, I well up with tears, when I listen to him share his feelings.  The other night he looked up into the sky and was quiet.

He said, “Mom, I looked up there and told Hope I hope he has having a good time there.”  Luke always blows a kiss to the sky.


This weekend, I was outside cleaning.  As I turned around, there was a butterfly crawling on the ground.  Butterflies have always been one of my favorite creatures and mean more so now. They symbolize a renewal or transformation.  Transformation is a process and healing is a process. As the butterfly was walking around, I put my hands on the ground. It would crawl towards me and then would move back.  The little creature did the same action for a few minutes. I paralleled it to how I feel about remembering Hope. To recognize the joy he brought to our life for a short time, is irreplaceable.  At times, he feels close to me and other times he seems far away.


This weekend, I read at storytime at our local bookstore.  It brings much joy to serve our community. Last year, when I read for storytime I was expecting.  As I was preparing to read this weekend, I thought “Hope should be here for the story today.” The sweet little group of kids were on the little butterfly blankets and it brought joy to be with little ones.  


Honoring our children can be simple.  

Speaking their names, holding onto the joy they brought and celebrating them by just remembering their presence is honoring. May we all find ways to honor our children and through honoring them may it bring comfort and peace.


Robyn BusekrusAbout Robyn Busekrus

Robyn Busekrus is a mom, wife, educator, and writer who makes her home in Washington, MO.  Losing her third son Hope in the second trimester of pregnancy, was an unexpected part of her life’s journey.

Robyn’s blog www.robynsnestofhope.com chronicles the journey of loss and hope.  Appreciating the little things in life, while holding onto faith each day is the message she wants to share with others.  Her interests include reading, home decorating, vintage markets, and community service.

Facebook: www.facebook.com/robynsnestofhope/


  1. Cheryl Spratt on September 25, 2018 at 8:39 pm

    Robyn this is inspiring. As I watch you and Matt go through your grief and read your blog I also find hope in surviving, in putting one step in front of the other, taking one second, one a hour and one day at a time. Thank you for sharing. My thoughts and prayers are with you always.

  2. christine on December 5, 2018 at 12:46 am

    I’m sorry for all you loss losing a baby no matter how early or late your pregnancy was. I just lost my baby girl in the beginning of my 2 trimester. I didn’t even know it I didn’t have any bleeding or pain just went to my regular dr appointment and there was no heartbeat. To me it was the same as a regular death. my 5 year old litt girl was there in the room with my husband and 14 month old son. It’s was a true horror for my family. People think as long as you have other children it not as bad and it’s easier to get over. I know we will never get over this terrible loss. I had to cremate her on my birthday. I feel no birthdays will ever be the same for me. Also she was due right by mother’s day. I know this mother day will be very sad. Hopefully in time it will get easier but I will never forget her or get over losing her. All we can do is take each day as it comes and try to injoy life because life is to short. To all the beautiful angel babies may them rest in peace and forever be in are hearts.

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