Coping with Miscarriage
By: Sierra Dean
After I miscarried, my first thought was, “How long will I be sad?” The answer: as long as you need. Everyone’s experience with miscarriage is different and valid. I’ve experienced several miscarriages, but each one took a certain toll on me, whether emotionally or physically.
You have a right to your feelings.
You may feel grief, sadness, anger, guilt, or fear. These feelings are normal and valid. You might be surprised how intense your emotions can be after a miscarriage.
There’s no right way to grieve a pregnancy loss — you are allowed to process it in your way and at your own pace. Your feelings will change over time; they may even differ from what others have experienced with miscarriage. It’s also okay if you don’t feel any of these things right away — that’s normal too!
It’s okay to grieve.
You are not alone in your grief. It is normal to feel sad, angry, and guilty when you lose a pregnancy. It’s also normal to feel numb or scared. Your feelings will change over time as you cope with the loss of your baby. It’s important to give yourself permission to feel whatever emotion you are feeling at any given moment.
Let go of the “shoulds.”
It’s okay to feel the way you do. You can’t control the way you feel, and it’s not productive to try. You also don’t have to pretend to be happy when you’re not, or strong for other people. It may seem strange at first, but if a friend says, “I’m so sorry,” or “It’s okay,” then just say: “Thank you.”
That’s all it takes for them—and for YOU—to know what they’re feeling is appreciated.
If someone wants advice on how they should handle their miscarriage (it happens), share your own experiences with them and ask them what their experiences were like as well before giving any advice.
Take care of yourself physically.
Physical and emotional stress may be related, so it’s important to take care of both. For example, physical activity can help you feel less emotionally stressed. And feeling emotionally better can help you sleep better at night, which in turn helps your body stay healthy and strong.
Express yourself creatively.
There are many ways to express yourself creatively. Journaling is a good way to release your emotions and can help you connect with others who have experienced miscarriages. You could also try creating art, music, or dance if that’s something that resonates with you.
Writing poetry or creative writing can be another way of expressing how you’re feeling and may help bring more clarity to the situation at hand. Doing drama and acting out characters in a play can also give people an outlet for their emotions without having to put themselves in any real danger of upsetting anyone else involved in their lives (e.g., mom, close family member, or friend).
Observe a ritual that feels meaningful to you.
A ritual is something you do to mark the end of a cycle, and it can help you process your feelings about a miscarriage. When you choose to observe a ritual for your miscarriage, follow these steps:
~Decide what form will best fit into your daily life and make sense in light of any existing traditions or religious beliefs (or lack thereof).
~Remember that rituals don’t have to be elaborate—in fact, they’re often more powerful when they’re simple and meaningful only to those participating in them. Some examples include lighting candles at sunset each day until all are gone; writing letters expressing gratitude toward people who’ve touched our lives; spending time alone during certain hours every day; creating art honoring what was lost; making donations in honor of our unborn baby’s life; reflecting on how far along we were when we miscarried; listening carefully each morning for signs from above about what happened since our last appointment/test results were released…the list goes on!
Talk with others who’ve had miscarriages.
If you are grieving a miscarriage, it can be helpful to talk with others who have gone through the same experience. They may share their feelings and experiences with you, or they may provide advice on how they were able to get through their miscarriage. Talking about your experience is an important part of healing and learning more about what happened.
It can also help to talk with people who have had different experiences than yours. Some people may tell you that they felt relieved after miscarrying; others might say that they felt devastated by the loss of their pregnancy. You don’t need everyone in your life to understand exactly how you feel—but it can still be comforting if some do!
It’s okay to take time to grieve and heal after a miscarriage, but your emotions are valid no matter what they are.
Coping with miscarriage is a process, not a destination—it will be different for everyone. You may feel like you’re stuck in the same place week after week, or you might notice progress over months or years. That being said, it’s important to know that whatever stage you’re at on this journey is okay and normal.
It can be difficult to find support after a miscarriage, but it’s important to reach out and talk about this experience with others who have felt similar pain. This is a good way for you to validate what you’re feeling and get some helpful tips from someone who knows what you’re going through. If there are people in your life who don’t know how to handle such news, then they probably aren’t worth talking to anyway. Take care of yourself by doing things that make you feel better—such as spending time with family or friends or taking up hobbies like reading books or watching movies (or even binge-watching TV shows!).
About Sierra Dean
Sierra Dean is a full-time entrepreneur who loves assisting authors in creating Best-Selling books and extra income streams. When she started the entrepreneurship journey, her goal was to help people learn how to express themselves through another outlet, which was writing.
In 2017, she began helping others write and share their stories with the world. As people wrote their stories, she found that they were healing as well. As a Publishing Coach, Sierra strives to make sure all authors are able to add Best-Selling Author to their bio. To get I touch with Sierra, email sierra.dean@deandiaries.com or www.deandiaries.com