Growing in Grief

By: Robyn Busekrus

Gardening is one of my hobbies that I enjoy. This year, my garden hasn’t been as productive as in previous years. The drought and heat have hindered our garden’s growth. When planning our garden, I think of the best produce to grow. I have learned through experience of which items grow with success and which items are more difficult to grow. At times, I get discouraged on how our garden is producing. When planting, I magically think the garden will grow overnight. In reality, I know it takes time to get a harvest which comes with patience and care.

My journey of gardening began when my grandpa would plant tomatoes and peppers each summer. I
remember walking down the back porch steps to see the vegetables encased in their supports. The plants
were of various heights along with different shades of colors which reflected their growth. It was tradition to know that each year there would be tomatoes and peppers each season. Throughout the season, some
weeks ushered in a bounty of produce. During other weeks, it stagnated waiting for the next tomatoes and peppers to ripen to be picked.

Our grief journey is like a garden. Grief is hindered at times just like with a season of drought. A season or
reminder of our grief takes us back to our experience. We need care, support, patience and time similar to a garden. After we lost our son, the world was still in its normal everyday mode. I wondered, “How can this be?”, while going through the initial grief. I wanted time to stand still, yet I knew that time doesn’t and we would have to move forward.

When I think of our garden growing magically overnight I relate it to my grief. Others thought I should be over my grief at various points of time. Grief doesn’t magically disappear. It comes at various times and can occur unexpectedly. One person may experience the journey of grief a certain way, while others may experience differently. There is not a magical time frame for grief. Care, support, patience and time are the supports needed just as tending a garden.

As we are on this grief journey, may we grow moment to moment. We may see a bit of growth, experience growth over time or rapid growth on our journey. A garden takes time and with time we see the beautiful gift of harvest. As we are on our journey, we hold onto knowing that with care, support, patience and time we will grow in our grief.

About Robyn Busekrus

Robyn Busekrus is a mom, wife, educator, and writer who makes her home in Washington, MO.  Losing her third son Hope in the second trimester of pregnancy, was an unexpected part of her life’s journey. Robyn’s blog chronicles the journey of loss and hope. Appreciating the little things in life, while holding onto faith each day is the message she wants to share with others.  Her interests include reading, home decorating, vintage markets, and community service.

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