Remembering Together This October

By: Amy Lied

October is an important month for the loss community.  It is filled with events to honor our children who are no longer here.   I always find myself slightly dreading October because it can be so heavy yet also, looking forward to it because it gives me the opportunity to focus on my son.  It gives me things to do in his honor, which can be seriously lacking throughout the rest of the year. 

However, this year is one that will look a bit different.  With the current global pandemic situation, most of the events have gone virtual.  

Personally, I’ve found that I’ve signed up for more events this year than in previous years, simply because they are virtual.  Over the last 3.5 years that I have been a bereaved mother I’ve connected with women from all over the country who now have their own events for infant loss.  This year I am able to support their local happenings by virtually attending their 5Ks and remembrance events.  

It’s nice to be able to feel connected to these women and contribute to their causes. 

However, that being said, I know I am going to miss the in-person connections with my fellow local loss families this year.  I will miss seeing the same people we have seen year after year at our local events, giving them hugs, and remembering their child/ren along with mine. 

2020 has been quite the year of isolation.  For many (myself included) the beginning of quarantine was eerily reminiscent of those first few weeks/months after losing a child; where it is too much to venture into the outside world and just easier to stay in the comfort of our own homes, avoiding anyone and everyone. Given the current circumstances, it would be easy to just call this October a wash and skip doing anything for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.  

Don’t let this year, and the lack of in-person remembrance opportunities, make you feel like you are alone in your loss. 

There are so many wonderful organizations offering a myriad of virtual remembrance events for us this October.  I encourage you to find some that speak to you and sign up for them with your virtual and real-life friends. 

Losing a child is painful enough, let’s not let 2020 take away the few events we have to express that pain and honor our dearly missed children.  

Sending love to you all!  

About Amy Lied
Amy Lied is a wife and a mother. Her son, Asher, was inexplicably born still on February 19th, 2017. Before losing Asher, she suffered a miscarriage and struggled with unexplained infertility. After losing Asher and struggling to conceive again, she went back to treatment where she became pregnant with her twin daughters; Harper and Scarlett. She has documented her journey from the beginning of her infertility struggles on her blog, Doggie Bags Not Diaper Bags. She is also a co-founder of The Lucky Anchor Project, an online resource for loss families that houses an Etsy store whose profits are donated to loss family non-profit organizations. Sharing her journey has helped her cope and she hopes it also helps others who are walking on this road of life after loss. 

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