By: Sabrina Ivy
There is something cathartic about telling your story. Something healing about sharing your grief. I have a difficult time verbalizing my feelings, but when my fingers touch the keyboard or I pick up a pen it becomes the release for me that I so desperately need.
It’s like opening a valve and releasing some of the pressure that is building so I can breathe again.
While my words aren’t necessarily eloquent or inspiring, they do something for me that no one else can. They tell my daughter’s story, they tell my story…they tell our story. Sharing our story and speaking of my grief, has not only helped me navigate this ocean of wildly unpredictable emotions, but it has connected me with so many mothers who have been desperate to find someone who has been where they are.
Seemingly wounded beyond repair.
Having a connection with others helps us not feel so alone in this.
With social media has come this boundless way to share every possible human emotion: grief included. Social media can be many negative things, but it has without doubt unchained the bereaved and opened an avenue to for us to process our most challenging emotions. A hundred years ago, baby loss was not to be discussed. Even 20 years ago, grief was silenced. With social media, came this new outlet for us. It wasn’t just the introduction of social media, but this incredible access to information we can learn from.
Together, we are breaking the silence of pregnancy and infant loss.
Gone are the days when we must hide our sadness to appease the masses. If we are sad, we can say it. If we are angry, we can say it. If our baby died and we are in pain, agonizing in the aftermath…WE CAN SAY IT!!!
“My baby died, and I am hurting. My baby died, I am not ok. My baby died and I need to breathe. My baby died…I need your support because I am drowning.”
You can say it!
There are a multitude of Facebook groups dedicated to pregnancy and infant loss. Joining these groups can be an especially helpful way of connecting. I joined several groups over the years, and I’ve left many as well. You can easily find the ones that fit your needs.
Like many people, I share a lot of my life on social media. I loved sharing our excitement when I was pregnant with Alivia. When she unexpectedly died, I continued to share for many reasons. Mainly because I NEEDED to share. My grief didn’t end at her funeral. Just as it is perfectly acceptable to talk about your grief, it is equally ok not to talk about it online as well.
Whatever you choose, it is important to find a healthy way to release the pressure that builds up.
Sabrina has been married to her wonderful husband, Chris, for 13 years. She is a mommy to four beautiful children; two that walk with them and two that live in Heaven. They are a homeschooling families and have found great comfort in being able to mourn and grieve in their own ways together. The Ivy’s daughter was stillborn at almost 37 weeks on March 22, 2014. This has been a journey of faith, grief and hope for their family.