By: Lisa Hromada
It was New Year’s Day in 2013 that my husband and I found out I was pregnant for the first time. We were so excited. Honestly, the thought never crossed my mind that anything could go wrong. I had friends pregnant without complication and I assumed it would be the same for me.
At our eight-week appointment, my husband and I saw the heartbeat on the ultrasound, and it was amazing. But around week nine, something odd began to happen. I began to have vivid dreams that something was wrong with the pregnancy. To my knowledge, I showed no signs of miscarriage.
In fact, I felt great starting toward the end of my ninth week; I no longer had morning sickness. (Little did I know at the time, this was sign of miscarriage.) It wouldn’t be until four weeks later that we found out we had lost the pregnancy.
We arrived at our 12-week appointment feeling excited to hear our baby’s heartbeat for the first time. After several minutes of searching, the doctor said the words that no one wants to hear, “I’m sorry. There is no heartbeat.”
I felt like my life was completely turned upside down. I was shocked, confused and gutted with grief. I cried a lot, day and night. Through an ultrasound, it was discovered that around week nine—around the time that I started having those dreams—the heart stopped developing. Four days later, I had a D&C procedure, which left me feeling empty and defeated.
I vividly recall the shock of finding out there was no heartbeat and the sorrow I felt when I had to tell my family and friends. I had so many questions for God. My biggest question was, “WHY?” I thought that knowing an answer could help me heal my suffering.
Several months later I experienced my second loss. This time, I had a feeling that something was wrong because I had no pregnancy symptoms. It was confirmed at eight weeks that, again, there was no heartbeat. And again, I asked God, “Why?”
Despite being disappointed, and honestly, quite mad, I wasted no time trying again. I was almost obsessed now, and I spent months making myself miserable wondering when it would happen.
I finally came to a point of mental and emotional exhaustion that I decided to relinquish control and allow God to take over.
Rather than obsess month after month about getting pregnant, I decided that I would do my best to take positive actions toward moving past my grief. And when I did, I began to notice how my relationships got stronger, my body healthier and I began to have vivid dreams of having a healthy baby. Nearly a year later we had our first child—our first rainbow after our storm.
At this point, I was just starting to get a glimpse into what happens when we release our struggles to God and do our best to stay positive. But there was still more that I was meant to experience and learn.
My third pregnancy loss was a turning point for me. Upon coming into my second trimester, and the day I planned to tell my family and friends I was pregnant, I discovered I would need to have another procedure done. I was devastated and cried the heaviest tears. I was completely shocked, and again, I wondered WHY this was happening.
It took time, but I eventually came to a point of acceptance and complete surrender to God. I completely let go of my desire to control what I couldn’t and put my faith in a greater plan.
Upon surrendering, I went through a series of incredible, life-changing steps that would ultimately lead me to a greater understanding of how we can co-write our life story with God. It would also lead me to being able to have our second child—our second rainbow.
What I learned from my journey to motherhood about love, life and how God works, I believe will completely transform the way you look at your life, your experiences and what you do next. (Shared this in the video clip – link below.)
I believe we are never alone in this life, and I believe that we can get through our times of challenge and suffering and come out of it more empowered and more complete.
VIEW VIDEO: How to Heal After Miscarriage: What I Learned About Life & God
About Lisa Hromada
Lisa Hromada is a wife, mom, speaker and author of Love is the Seed: Teachings from the Spirit World and The Three Supreme Gifts: A Practical Approach to Self-Mastery and to Transforming Your Life Here and Now. Through her YouTube series, Knower Soul™, Lisa explores empowering teachings on love, life and God. After experiencing her third pregnancy loss, she realized profound steps to healing and how to create a life of greater joy, peace and purpose that she now shares with audiences. Free resources and videos at www.LoveIsTheSeed.com.